in the beginning

          So there I was, just a little, well slightly overweight, but just a young girl. Anyway, i little did i know that my pre pubescent jr high school brain was just about to deal with some very adult situations.

        I was a jovial, giggly, happy chubby cheeked 12 year old girl. Probably the most pleasant kid you have ever seen. I was in Jr High school when this journey began. I loved every minute of my life. Even though my hair could be mistaken for a brillo pad , my glasses could be mistaken for something NASA could use to view the moon, my mouth was a deadly weapon with all the jagged wires and metal in there not to mention i outweighed most of the teachers in my school, but i didn''t care. At least I didn't let it show.

         I could let all of those "quirks" slide because I knew there was always someone that had it worse. Someone with frizzier hair or someone bigger than me, etc. I knew I was lucky that I only had to deal with those trivial things. I surrounded myself with friends and family, played sports and volunteered for any and everything I could. Then it all changed in a few weeks. On one hand it wasn't so bad. I lost about 15 pounds in those few weeks, BUT it was due to my blood sugar rising so high it was causing me to drink gallons of fluids a day! We all know what happens next, eh hem, excuse me Mr.Mac may I use the restroom AGAIN?? My overactive bladder was going to make it even harder for me to seem normal when I became the anorexic girl that can't make it through 5th period without taking 3 poddy breaks! I either have a bladder the size of a pea or diarrhea. What would you rather have at 12? So the symptoms began...what's going on!!? Is this normal puberty?

         So I went away for a week to a youth convention with the church I was going to. I had been feeling symptoms of diabetes for a few weeks and had kind of mentioned it to my parents, but knew if I said too much I probably would have to stay home and not be able to go on the trip. So I just figured I would tough it out and I think we had an appointment for when I got back. It has been a few years now so I don't know lol...My symptoms were the normal symptoms of juvenile diabetes like extreme thirst (like a gallon of fluid throughout the night) and frequent urination. I also had tingling in my forearms and a bit of blurry vision and dry eyes. My dad kept saying he thought I had sugar diabetes, but I thought only old people got it. Boy, was I wrong. We took my blood sugar at my grandmother house but it was so high it would not read on the monitor, It just said HI. Being a kid I thought it was just the machines greeting! So I went on the trip neglecting to listen to my body closely. During the trip I got sicker and sicker and it was on the way home when I started slipping in and out of a diabetic coma. I remember being on the bus on the way home thinking there was no way in heck I was making it back to my parents. I could feel my heart pounding so hard it felt like you could see my chest going up and down. When I finally made it to the hospital it was almost like I felt like I was no longer living just for me, but if I died everyone would be let down. I felt obligated to not give up because i would put people out. Like it would burden people to have to deal with it. I might not have a choice though, my blood sugar would not register on the blood sugar machine I was treated with insulin in my IV and had to stay in the hospital for at least a week. Then it came, my diagnosis, Type 1 Juvenile Diabetes. I was never really sad at first, I just figured I have this disease for a reason. We don't get anything we can;t handle and I told everyone that I thought maybe I was the one chosen to have this disease because I could handle it, not everyone could. It might break some people. It will probably just make me stronger some way. I didn't know how yet, I was only 12.


 Daddy and I

                             After my life was flip turned upside down I was back in school back to sports and back to the life of  a teenage girl. Just not the happy go lucky little life that i once knew. I was no longer the sweet little giggle bot panda bear. I had turned into the diabetic kid down the street that was everyone watched and talked about because I could no longer eat sugar. Not only could I not eat sugar but for the rest of my life I better be ready to hear, "can you eat that?" "is that allowed on your diet?" every time I put a piece of food anywhere in the vicinity of my face. I was always tired and generally had a stomach ache. I tried to be strong though and smile though it so I didn't worry my parents.

I grew up in a small town, so basically the entire community was looking out for me. It was one of towns were you had to be very careful when choosing your Prom date or you could be dating your cousin. Anyway,as I was saying, being diagnosed with Juvenile diabetes at age 12 was tough. My friends were snacking on ice cream and snickers and I was snacking on rice cakes and ....sneaking snickers because there was not really too much known regarding a diabetic diet back then. There were different ideas on what was right, but it was still so new. Atkins was blowing out peoples kidneys and nutra sweet had just made its appearance as a carcinogen.

      So, I decided to write this blog because growing up as aType 1 diabetic there is not much out there that speaks from the heart, and I want to change that. I will write about my journey from diagnosis of diabetes to my recent listing on the kidney/pancreas transplant list at Swedish Hospital in Seattle Washington.  It should be quite interesting to say the least!        Ask me anything!